Jacob~
Seventeen years ago as you were growing inside me I wondered what day would be your birthday. You came into the world quiet and still on October 22, 1992. Two was a common number for you as twice a day…you got the hiccup…then one day no more hiccups. There was no heartbeat on your ultrasound. There was no more movement inside my womb.
The umbilical cord had wrapped around your neck (7 times). Does anyone else see the irony of how you died? The very way I gave you life for almost nine months, took your life in only seconds. This year is so hard, harder than the last 16 have been. I wish I knew how you would look at seventeen.
I only see you as the sweet baby boy you were as I held you in my arms that first time, when I counted 10 long slender fingers, and 10 soft sweet little round toes. You had the cutest little nose. You were a beautiful baby! I cannot begin to envision the handsome young man you must be at seventeen.
I have always equated Garth Brook’s song The Dance with our time together as you slept the summer by my side, I was on top of the world, as I carried you inside my womb, knowing you were growing longer and stronger each day. When I held you inside me for those nine months I held everything. I had known all along that you would be with me for only a short time; I just did not know how short the time would be. How insanely crazy it is that a mother has to tell her baby boy goodbye…before she ever tells him hello!
I love you…Mom
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